145 Days Left

I have less than five months left living in this quirky country. It's so hard to believe that the half-way mark has come and gone; it feels like just yesterday that I was boarding the plane in New York. Looking back on that moment, I had no idea what I was getting into.

Months prior to my departure, my "AFS Year Abroad" sounded like some distant paradise, where all of my frustrations and troubles would vanish, where I would create a new life for a year. This is true, and untrue in so many ways. I guess, I never really took into consideration all the obstacles that I would have to overcome while living on the other side of the world, and how much stronger I would grow from them. When something seems so heavenly, we seem to be blinded from reality. I was told of the homesickness, struggle, independence and self realizations I would be faced with by AFS Returnees, but I never actually took a minute to think hard about them. Nobody said it would be easy, that's for sure!
Don't get me wrong, this year has been, and will be the most eyeopening year of my life, but not only in the travel sense. I am learning so much more than I can even put into words about relationships between people, myself, ways of thinking, and more. Being here has also made me realize how much I love where I have grown up; really makes me appreciate all of the things I took so easily for granted back home.

I miss the mountains. Bishops Beach. Two Sisters sticky buns. Open, untouched land. Cosmic Kitchen enchiladas. Wildlife. Road trips with my sister, or even just car rides to The Spit and back with her. Hiking with my dad in the summertime. My moms weird, insanely-healthy vegan meals.

When I left home, I never thought about any of these things. Honestly, like any other teenager from Homer, I considered it boring and couldn't wait to get out and see the world. The world has beautiful, special places indeed, and it turns out Alaska just happens to be one of those incredible places.

In five months, when I'm back to living in Homer, I am certain that I will also have aspects from here in the Netherlands that I will long for as well. Maybe it will be simple, silly things like cycling to school everyday, or taking the metro into Rotterdam. Maybe it will be playing card games with my host family, staying up into the late hours discussing morals and analyzing situations. Maybe it will be going to Vierkantje every Friday with my friends. Then again, I'm guessing it will be everything! The sad part is that I don't know when I will be back here again, if it will be in a few years or ten. However, considering my new found love of traveling, I'm guessing sooner than later. And honestly, I think leaving Bergschenhoek, my life here, might possibly be one of the hardest things I will be faced with in this year.
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Next month I will be seventeen, an age where "plans for your future" is a phrase often heard, and constantly thought about. College, career, dreams, plans. Being here gives me a lot of self-reflection time, spent mulling over such topics. At this point, I could realistically see myself joining my sister at CU Boulder after graduation. Being here has made me realize that I really enjoy living close to her, and miss that comfort completely. It also could be the last time that we would live so close to one another, depending on how the future plays out. Mom and Dad could visit us at the same time, and I'd always know that she would be there for me (physically be there, I mean). Boulder is of course a beautiful place, set in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. There seem to be an endless amount of things to do there, both indoors and out. Not to mention, the campus is hands down gorgeous.

I plan to apply early, and visit Maddie during spring break of 2014 to see if it's the place for me. This is only an idea at this point, but a serious one. Thinking further into my college plans, a semester abroad is definitely something I'll consider as well...who knows, maybe I will even end up back here! I will also apply to other colleges of interest....none of which I am certain of yet. I have been on several college tours though, so I have some grounds to start on!
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Time has just flown by since I've been here. Admittedly, day by day it didn't always seem to pass at such a fast rate, but now considering I have less than 5 months here, I can see that it definitely has. I feel as if the next few months will go by even faster, unfortunately! In less than two weeks, I will be skiing in the Alps in Austria! The week after, I will be touring Berlin again, but with my class. In three months, Maddie will be joining me here. We will travel to Paris for five days together! In four months I will be at Concert At Sea with my host family, and in less than five months I will be on the plane headed home, and get to see my parents for the first time in over a year!

I have so many things to look forward to and I am so fortunate.

-Molly