Yes, I know it is September now...

I apologize for the large gap that I have left in my blog- departing the Netherlands was harder and busier than I had expected, as was returning home.

I will try my best to sum up those last few weeks in Holland though! They were of course, amazing and bittersweet at the same time.

As summer grew nearer in Holland, the temperature grew warmer every day- I wore shorts to school for the very first time in my life, and was still too hot! I remember that when the sun came out, several of my teachers moved class outside to enjoy the sunshine. Keep in mind that it rains quite a lot in the Netherlands, and people tend to take advantage of good weather when they can. My friends and I spent one of our free days bicycling to the Alexandrium in Rotterdam, grabbing some ice-cream just because the weather was so nice!


In the middle of June, I had my AFS End Camp- and I had a ball, let me tell you. It had been about ten months since I had seen most of the other AFSer's, and the stories and experiences we shared were inspiring. Of course, all seventy of us were in the same boat at this point- sad to be leaving the Netherlands, but at the same time excited to return home. AFS prepared us for our departure from our lives in Holland, as well as for our arrival home- wherever that home may be. On Saturday night they threw a party, in celebration of the year we all just completed. Almost like a last hoo-rah. That weekend spent with a bunch of foreign kids like me, was an adventure within itself.

One of my favorite evenings was one Saturday night spent with the girls from my class. We all cycled to Shivani's house, where we danced and got ready to go out together. The night was unforgettable for many reasons, including the funniest situation I had ever found myself in! We had all walked from her house to the nearest metro-station, when two of us had to use the restroom-really badly! As I've mentioned before, in Europe it is common to have to pay to pee. At this station, rather than public restrooms where a woman awaits by the door to collect, it was an electronic one-person restroom stall, literally a silver room which you had to put a coin in (one euro or something) for the door to slide open. Now, being the intelligent young girls that we are, we thought we'd only pay once and go in together. There was no reason that we should each pay a euro when we could just split the bill and walk in together. And so we did, Nienke first and I followed. After we were in what felt like an aluminum box-the toilet was silver, the sink, the floor, etc- our friend Naomi knocked on the door, asking if she too could come in together and save herself a euro. I opened the door of course, and let her in. At this point, Nienke was using the bathroom first, and Naomi and I stood by the door, waiting our turn. Out of no where, water harshly sprayed out from the walls, in a fanning motion to sterilize the room! We frantically open the metal door as Nienke hiked up her pants, and all three of us sprinted out of the bathroom quicker than imaginable, and laid on the ground in the metro-station laughing and laughing hysterically. My outfit, the carefully chosen black jeans with a nice black blouse to go with it, were drenched and dripping. Our hair, which we had spent so much time perfecting, was now damp with the faint scent of urinal cakes. A layer of mascara was imprinted under my eyes. The night couldn't have started out any funnier, and the best part was that we joined the rest of our friends on the metro, limbs sprawled out over the seats in attempt to dry out a bit before we went out into the city! It turns out that after every use, the electronic bathroom does a deep cleaning of the entire room, and by opening the door once we were in there, the machine thought we had left- who knew?!

Another great memory of my last few days in Holland was the weekend before I left. My host family and I headed up the road to Concert at Sea, a large music festival with very famous (mostly Dutch) artists performing. I saw Will and the People, Nielson, Blof, and many more great bands! We "camped" out nearby, which wasn't the sort of camping that I was used to, coming from Alaska. It was luxurious, including showers, large heated tents (almost the size of a house!) and much more. We stayed two nights, and the first it rained harder than I had ever seen before- and there we were, Tim, Dennis, Sjoerd, Majorie, Richard and I- listening to the last performance at midnight, drenched in water. The next day however, the sun was shining and it was the prettiest day for a concert outside! Not a cloud in the sky. We were located right by the sea (hence the name) and it was wonderful. Great music, great people, great memories.



My last night was full of both tears and joy. My entire class came over to bid me farewell, and Pascale, Maartje, Fiona and Beau spent the night afterwards. I was presented with the most thoughtful gifts that evening- the girls from my class got together and made me a personalized planner, filled with photos and things that I must never forget from Holland. Beau, Maartje, Pascale and Fiona gave me a CD that they made, consisting of 20 Dutch songs that we had made so many memories with. They also gave me a pure silver bracelet with five small beads on it, representing each of us. I never take it off. They gave me a bundle of laminated photos of them, with different quotes on each one. They are hanging up on my wall here at home now. I received more small gifts as well; it was a very special evening. Looking back on it, I don't think I quite realized what leaving was going to mean, until the plane took off from Schipol Airport the following morning.

Pascale, Beau, Maartje, Fiona, Renee, Tim, Dennis, Katharina, Marijke and Rob all took me to the airport to send me on my way. There, I met Marlo, Kyle and Colette (the other American AFS students) who were about to leave with me as well. My four friends and I kept saying that this wasn't a goodbye, but rather a "see you later." I tried to be strong and hold back the tears, but as I threw my backpack over my shoulder, walked toward my gate and waved goodbye, tears flowed down my cheeks like rivers. The jitters of going home paused for just a moment, as my heart hurt leaving my closest friends. I will never forget how I felt walking away from them. Not knowing when you will see such important people to you again, is an unsettling thought.

The plane ride to New York felt like it lasted for days. The excitement of meeting my mother in North Carolina had kicked in, and it was hard to sleep, read, eat, or focus on anything besides that moment when we were going to see each other in the airport for the first time in a year. I had to spend the night in New York that night first, and fly out to North Carolina the following morning- which made the journey feel even longer.

The day finally came, and there she was in the Wilmington Airport, balloon and flowers in one hand, and my grandma by her side. What a great flashback that will always be. We spent ten days together in Wilmington with my grandma, which was full of dinner parties, swimming in outside pools, shopping, pedicures, and trips to the beach! In other words, it was a fantastic trip consisting of much needed quality time with my mom! Being back in the states felt so weird though- I remember that I was so entertained by walking up and down the isle in the local grocery store, seeing products and food items that I had completely forgotten about while abroad- I was fascinated with the silliest things, like the price of deodorant! I collected a few treats and candies at the store, and sent a care package to the girls back in Bergschenhoek.

Our vacation ended quickly, and before I knew it I was on a plane to ALASKA! The last frontier, the state that I had missed so much while away. My father and sister drove up to Anchorage in the motorhome to pick me up, and we too, had a meaningful, long hug. My dad jokes every day that he has to make up for all of the hugs he missed while I was gone! I laugh, but am thinking the same thing.

This past summer I accomplished a lot, I feel like. When I returned home and got settled (as settled as I could, that is), my sister got me a job as a barista at our local coffee shop- Captain's Coffee. I also got a second job on the spit, selling attire at a fun tourist shop. I registered for three classes at our college, Kachemak Bay Campus: Biology 115, Critical Thinking and Introduction to American Government. I registered for two classes online as well, US History and Language Arts 11. I got my license, which still scares me to death on a daily basis- driving is nerve-racking! I moved into my sisters old room as well, redecorating

it with souvenirs that I had picked up at all of the places I traveled to.

Summer ended quickly, and Maddie went back to Colorado for college. I still cherish every day that I spend with my parents, for I missed them more than I can ever describe while I was gone. We eat dinners together most nights, if I get off work on time. Those dinners are the best part of my day.

Some days I get lonely without Maddie around, but between my job, college classes, online classes and college applications, I've been keeping pretty busy. I believe this to be good though, for if I had too much spare time, I'm afraid that I would dwell on the fact of being so far away from my friends, and my other life.

Often times I get asked the question, "Does it feel weird being back?" Honestly, yes. When I see old friends and acquaintances, I feel like I am living a different life now, looking from the outside in. My life didn't go back to "normal" per se, but rather moved forward, and rather quickly. It is hard to explain, and some times I don't quite understand the feeling myself. There are days when I look to the mountains, and think how fortunate I am to be here and with my parents again- and others, when I scroll through old photos on my phone of the girls and I at Vierkantje, and wish so dearly to be back in the Netherlands. For now, the only thing that I can do is look towards my future, and do everything that I can to make it possible to go back to Europe at some point, whether it be for a visit or to study abroad in college.

How I see this year going, is continuing with my graduation plan and attaining all of my needed credits to graduate on time in May. I am thinking about visiting Maddie in Boulder in the spring, but that is up in the air for now. Within the next few months, I'll be frantically applying for colleges and applications, right and left. Who knows where I'll be next year, I am truly considering all options at this point; volunteer programs abroad, college in the States, Working Holiday Visa in New Zealand, colleges in Ireland and England, etc. etc. I have so many different options and dreams that it will be a challenge to only pick one to start off with.

Stay tuned for now, at least that's my plan anyways.

-Molly